This Shit Ain't a Fairy Tale

Mia: Me... curly haired. shy. bold. simple. complicated. vulnerable. strong. cautious. spontaneous. a list maker. sometimes a risk taker. stubborn. flexible. pensive. happy.

Kay: My married best friend in NY. We’re both from Southern California but on Girls Only vacation in Jamaica she met her husband (who is from New York) and the rest, as they say, is history. She’s been living in NY for the last seven years. She is also the mother of my GodBaby ‘Sunshine’.

Cee: Cecilia, my other best friend. We’ve know each other for sixteen seventeen years and we’re fundamentally the same: two parent home, Catholic, strong code of right and wrong, but we are both highly opinionated and clash often. I sense that we are secretly competing with each other on some level but neither of us will admit it. Cee had been living in NY for the last seven years and she just moved home. – and I’ve just begun staying with her and her family during the week for work purposes. (Worth noting: Cee was dating Andre, my best (male) friend, and it did not work out. On some level she blames me.)

Shawn: Cee’s older sister and the ‘matriarch’ of The Girls. She is an almost 40 year old virgin and she has a Do Not Settle attitude. You can always count on her to do the Right Thing and give morally sound advice.

Tina: Tina is Shawn’s best friend, and while Cee was in New York I began to develop my own relationship with Tina. We now do things on our own without our ‘best friends’ who brought us together. She has become a big sister to me.

ChaCha: ChaCha is someone Cee met at her old job and started bringing around right before she moved to NY. And when Cee left, ChaCha kept hanging out with us. ChaCha has a questionable moral system when it comes to men, but she is loyal to The Girls. We spend most of our time trying to undo the damage she might be inflicting on her 14 year old daughter with her cynicism.

Andre aka The Team Captain: Andre has been my friend for over fifteen years. We met because I was dating a friend of his friend and a few months later he began dating Cee for the first time. He has always been there to listen, advise and give me the tough love when necessary. Since I tend to date men with his same mentality, his advice is priceless - though I don’t always follow it. What can I say, I’m just a woman. (Worth noting: about ten eleven years ago we had sex. We didn’t have sexual chemistry and went right back to having a platonic relationship. The Girls do not know about this, and that’s the way I intend to keep it.)

Mira: Mira and I have known each other for over eight years when we used to work together. We have kept in touch but it has mostly been a special occasion friendship, you know birthdays, big parties. I needed to get closer to work and she needed a roommate. Perfect, right? It ended very poorly as I don’t think she only thought of herself in the dissolution of the arrangement. Well she got engaged right after Christmas (2007) and I may be looking for a new place to live… am looking for a new place to live. I found a new place to live. I am less than thrilled by the way she handled this and it may be the did end of our friendship.

Lex: A co-worker from Department #1 who always felt more like a cousin than a friend. She is the person who introduced me to online journaling and blogs.

Vanna: A co-worker from Department #2. She was there for the day to day of me and Miles beginning our ‘relationship’. She has a notoriously negative attitude and we get along much better now that we don’t work together. Miles says she tries to live vicariously through me. (Worth nothing: she is getting got married in October 2007.)

Eddie: A co-worker from Department #2. He is like a brother/best friend. We talk all the time and occasionally hang out at a Dodger game or something. He is also Miles’ friend, but his loyalties are to me. (I think!) Since I left the Department Eddie’s loyalties have become increasingly stronger to Miles. I believe the distance is only part of this. Eddie is now in his second ever relationship and turns his nose up at any relationship that is not committed. When I tried to explain my feeling using he and his girl as an example he told me, it’s not the same thing – we’re in a real relationship. Word? Bullocks to you.

Miles: A co-worker from Department #2 who has got me twisted. He is brilliant and a gangster. He is hard and unmoving, but sweet and tender. He keeps a lot to himself but he has a soft spot for me. He is the first man I believed in since J. I see possibility here. We gave it one try and I ended it when he could not commit to seeing me exclusively. It’s not over, though, not by a long shot. (Worth noting: He is divorced and has a son.) (Also see ‘The Men’.)

(When I still worked with them at Department #2 Eddie, Vanna, Miles and I would hang out in a lil birthday-special-event-happy-hour clique. Miles refered to us as Mia’s Rag Tag Band of BFF’s.)

Charli: One of my supervisors from Department #2. She was trying to set up Miles and I for months before I broke down and told her that we were already involved. She continually gives me advice on how to get this thing worked out. Then there was the Infamous Attempted Threesome/Adultery Incident of 2008. We are working on our friendship, but it is not quite the same. Obviously.

Joy: Joy is one of my current co-workers at Department #3. She is in her 50’s but, honey, she looks good. Joy is also a church lady – married to the pastor and everything. But Joy is so not preachy. She is great. Only a few months in she started calling me her ‘work daughter’ – and I was glad to be her. She gives good advice. That been-married-over-thirty-years, these-kids-don’t-know-nothing, everything-ain’t-going-to-be-perfect, it works-because-you-make-it-work advice. Amen and hallelujah!

Di: Di is another co-worker here at Department #3. Di is in her 40’s and like a big sister to me. We eat lunch together, go to the mall and sit around and gossip if we get a chance. She is also a non-preachy church lady and a good influence on me - and she makes killer gumbo!

Miles: He is my king. And maybe he shouldn’t be, but I am absolutely blown away by his energy. He inspires me to be a woman – in the very traditional sense of the word… and I like that. I like a man who makes me want to raise babies, cook, clean, pack his lunches and make him coffee. He is strong, silent and a mystery. It is undeniable that I have grown to love him. And in his own gangster way, I know he loves me, too. But will we make it? Only if he decides he to go all in – they way we are going now, we are simply treading water. (Also, see co-workers)

OAOA aka Tre: My on again, off again boyfriend. We actual met online but hit it off in a crazy way – and our sexual compatibility is off the charts. He lives beyond his means and I have never known a time when he didn’t have two or more jobs. He swears he loves me and I believe him, and he is who I tell my fears to. He promises that he will marry me one day. I believe that he believes it, but I don’t put any stock in it. I know without proof that he fucks other women and he knows (because I’ve told him) that I have relationships with other men.

Justin: Justin drives me absolutely bananas with his passive ways, but he can always be counted out on when I need a date - and he always picks up the tab. Every now and again, I find myself really enjoying his company but then he’ll do something so completely passive that I want to strangle him. Our relationship has been strictly platonic except for a few kisses. (Worth noting: Justin is good friends with some of Cee’s family, so he’ll pretty much always be around.)

Anthony: I met Anthony online, as well, and we started a tentative relationship as he lived three hours away from me. He always seemed as though he was hiding something from me and it finally came out: he has herpes. By the time I found out, he moved to Florida with a woman he felt couldn’t judge him and I was devastated. He is smart and funny but he does not believe in himself and thinks I am too good for him. He will always show up every now and then, and last year in July 2006 I flew (unannounced) to Florida for one last push. He chose her. It turned out to be My Closure.

OM: My ex. BLAH. We got together in 1997 and were exclusive for a few years. Then we broke up and then we moved in together. Yeah. Then we were back and forth for a while finally breaking up for good in 2000 or so when he got a serious girlfriend (Mediocre Girlfriend). Through it all we were always together (platonically) as we have mutual friends (I met him through Cee) and because his family still considers me family. After he and Mediocre broke up, we gave it one last shot and it crashed and burned miserably. For the first time in eight years, in 2006 I put distance between myself and his family. I am just now getting around to going Nine months later, after I met Miles, I started to go back to his parents house regularly, but he and I do not have any type of relationship now. I just found out that he became engaged (April 2008).

Jamal (J): I guy I met in NY a few years ago. I really liked him and he betrayed me. He only serves mentioning because every now and again I reference how much pain his betrayal caused me. I do not talk about him or what he actually did. And I won’t, so don’t ask.